写作指导
Charity
写作任务:
假如你是红星中学的学生,名叫李平。你们班有一位叫周红的学生,去年她的父母因患癌症都去世了,现在她和年迈的爷爷相依为命,生活十分拮据,马上就要辍学了。请你写一封信给一家英文报社,希望能通过他们为这位同学募捐一些钱。
要求:
1. 重点说明号召大家提供援助的理由及方式；
2. 表达流畅,说明透彻；
3. 不少于60词。
写作分析:
1. 这次的任务是写一封号召信,其格式与一般信件相同。所以,首先要正确使用信件格式。
2. 文章层次的安排。此文可分两个层次来写:首先说明号召大家提供援助的理由。我们可以首先告诉人家"There is a lovely girl in our class. Her family is suffering a lot."；然后告诉读者这个女孩就要"drop out of school"或者"can hardly go to school",所以希望大家能够"do the right thing"或者"help her with a little money / offer a little money",目的是"bring her back to school"或者让她"have a bright and beautiful future"；最后可在信尾交待提供援助的方式。
初稿:
Dear friends,
Zhou Hong’s parents died. Now she lives with her grandpa. She is going to drop out of school because she is poor. Could you please give her some money and help her to come to school? You will be a great help if you do. Thank you.Li Ping Hongxing Middle School
初稿点评:
初稿就所提供的材料做了一定的说明,对周红辍学的原因作了简单的介绍,格式正确、语言运用正确无误。但以下几个方面有待改进:
1. 说明过于平铺直叙,语言平淡,过渡不够自然；
2. 文章内容不够充实,缺少说服力；
3. 没有交代提供援助的方式；4. 词数太少,未能达到写作要求。
现在我们一起来看看修改过后的成稿:
成稿:
Dear friends,
Zhou Hong, a girl from Class Two, Grade Eight, may drop out of school.
Last year, both her parents died of cancer. She had to live with her elderly grandpa. Her family is so poor that she can hardly pay for her schooling.
If we can all give a little money, it will bring her back to school and change her life.
Let’s give her a hand! Please give the money to our teacher! Her phone number is 69693691. Li Ping Hongxing Middle School
Powerful sentences:
1. Her family is too poor to support her schooling. 她家太穷了,无法供她上学。此句使用了"too ... to ..."结构,表示"太……而不能……",是一个肯定结构表示否定意义的常用句型。例如:Her father is too old to stand up by himself.她父亲太老了,不能自己站起来。
2. Your donating to her, even one jiao, may make a big difference. 你对她的捐赠,即使是一角钱,也许会对她产生巨大的影响。make a difference"产生影响"。例如:His invention made a big difference to the world.他的发明对世界产生了很大的影响。
巩固练习:
五一节快到了,大家都与家人一起过节,可孤儿院的孩子们却没有亲人可以团聚。假如你是育英中学八年级五班的一名学生,名叫王燕。你向全班同学发起号召,号召大家在五一节这天带上礼物到孤儿院去和那些孩子们共度节日。请根据上面的提示写一封号召信。
要求:
1. 重点说明到孤儿院的意义；
2. 留意号召信的格式；
3. 不少于60词。
本期参考范文
Dear classmates,
The May Day holiday is coming. As we know, most Chinese families will have a happy get-together. However, did you know that the orphans in the orphanage haven’t got parents to stay with? They will probably have a very lonely and unhappy festival.
How about taking a small present —some food or drink —to them? Let’s go and spend the festival with them. This may make the orphans very happy. Yours, Wang Yan
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