写作指导
写作任务:
假如你叫Wang Fei,你和外教Mr Smith感情很好。Mr Smith要回国了,临走前他送你一本英文版的HarryPotter。现在请你给他写一封信表示感谢。要求:可以适当发挥；不少于60词。
写作分析:
1. 写作类型:
这次的写作任务要求写一封感谢信,感谢信和其他信件格式一样,我们这里就不再介绍了。
2. 信的正文部分:
首先要感谢Mr Smith的礼物"Thanks for giving me such a wonderful present."或者"I really like the present and thanks a lot."；然后再写收到礼物时自己的心情:惊奇、喜悦、兴奋；接下来可以发挥一下,比如说描述迫不及待地想阅读这本书"I can’t wait to read it." "I read it at once after school."假如你对这本书的故事有所了解,还可以顺便提一下。
3. 结尾:
最后要再次对Mr Smith表示感谢,同时送上自己的祝福"With my best wishes!"。
初稿:
Dear Mr Smith,
Thank you very much. I’ve received your book, Harry Potter. It’s a special present. It’s my dream to get a book like this. I hope you have a good time in China. I was excited. It’s a surprising gift. I would like to visit you on vacation. Best wishes to you.
Thank you again for the gift. I hope you can enjoy some delicious Chinese food. Good luck on your work in China. Yours, Wang Fei
初稿点评:
这篇习作在语法上没有什么错误,时态的运用也基本正确,但是缺点很明显:1. 逻辑混乱,条理不清:
第一段先提到"It’s a special present."然后又说"It’s a surprising gift."显得很松散。可以将两句话合为一句。
第一段结尾的"Best wishes to you."最好放到正文的结尾处。
第二段忽然说希望对方喜欢中国食物,有点莫名其妙,不合逻辑。
2. 句式过于单一,缺乏连贯性:
文章的第一句"Thank you very much."显得很突兀,应该写出具体感谢什么。例如:"Thank you very much for your present."或者改成"I’ve received your book Harry Potter, and thank you very much."。
成稿:
Dear Mr Smith,
I’ve received the book, HarryPotter, a surprising and special present. Thank you so much. When I got the book, I was very excited. I like the Harry Potter series and everything else about him. I can’t wait to read the book. I’ve almost finished with the whole series. It will be another amazing story. It’s really kind of you. Again, thanks for the special present.
I will miss you. I’d like to visit you on vacation.Best wishes to you.Yours, Wang Fei
Powerful sentences:
1. I’ve received the book, Harry Potter, a surprising and special present.我已收到《哈利·波特》这本书,真是一件令人吃惊而又特殊的礼物。收到某人的来信receive one’s letter = get one’s letter = receive / get a letter from sb. = hear from sb. 例如:I got a letter from my friend last week.我上周收到了朋友的一封信。He hears from his mother every month.他每月都收到妈妈的信。
2. Thank you for your present.谢谢你的礼物。Thanks / Thank you for (doing) sth.表示"谢谢你(做)……"。例如:Thanks / Thank you for helping me with my English.谢谢你帮我学英语。
3. Take care and enjoy yourself.保重, 祝您愉快。enjoy oneself = have a good / great time表示"过得愉快,玩得兴奋"。例如:Did you enjoy yourselves at the party?你们在晚会上玩得愉快吗？Have a good vacation.祝你假期愉快。
巩固练习:
复活节就要到了,学校的英语俱乐部倡议大家自制贺卡相互赠予,增进彼此的友谊。假如你叫Da Ming,你收到了来自加拿大的交换生Dave 的贺卡。请你给他写一封信,表达谢意。要求:可适当发挥；不少于60词。 本期参考范文
Dear Dave, I received the card that you made. Thank you very much for the wonderful present. The card is real-ly beautiful. I like the color a lot. You won’t believe blue is my favorite color. The girl in the picture is very cute. You are so good at painting. It’s the best present I have ever received. I know it is a festival in western countries. I hope you can have a special festival in China. I’m very glad to have a foreign friend like you.
Best wishes to you. Yours, Da Ming
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