写作指导
【写作任务】
假如你(Wang Lin)生活在哈尔滨,你在寒假期间参加了国际英语冬令营,在入营的第一天你向来自各个国家的营友们介绍了你所在城市的气候和天气方面的典型特点以及你们那里最具特色的活动。请根据所给材料和提示并适当发挥想像,写一篇80-100词的短文。
提示:
1. Summer: short; hot
2. Winter: long; cold
3. Activities: skating, skiing, making snowmen, etc.
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【分析】
这是一道半开放性写作练习。文章不只是单纯地描述某地的气候或天气,还要结合人们的活动来讲述。
1. 从提示中的summer和winter看,本文描述的季节是哈尔滨的夏天和冬天,因为是参加冬令营,因而重点是冬季,这一点还可从所给提示Activities中看出来。
2. 全文可以分两段来写:第一段描述哈尔滨的气候和天气情况。在描述这一内容之前,先可以做个自我介绍,说说你居住的城市哈尔滨是the capital of Heilongjiang Province；然后描述气候和天气；最后以哈尔滨的别称是"冰城"(the city of ice)作为本段结尾句。第二段描述哈尔滨人的活动。他们在冬季进行的体育活动肯定与冰雪密切相关,不管是冰上运动(sports on ice)还是其它活动。因此,本段第一句可用"People in Harbin love ice and snow."来过渡到相关活动的具体描述。 3. 本文时态适宜用一般现在时。
4. 常用单词和短语:climate, temperature, weather, rainy, windy, cloudy, sunny, snowy, hot, cold, warm, cool, humid, terrible, skating, skiing, making snowmen, boating, swimming, take photos, visit islands等。
学生初稿:
Harbin is a beautiful city and it’s the capital of Heilongjiang Province. The summer in Harbin is short and the weather is hot. The winter in Harbin is long. It usually lasts from November to February. It’s very cold in winter. People can see ice and snow everywhere.
People in Harbin like ice and snow. They aren’t afraid of the cold weather. They like skating and skiing. Some brave people enjoy swimming in the season.
点评:
这篇文章结构比较完整,内容表达比较清楚,时态运用也很正确,基本达到了本文的写作目的。但存在以下不足:
1. 文章开始没有做自我介绍,因为是向不熟悉的营友介绍自己的家乡,因而要先做自我介绍,从而引入对自己家乡的介绍。
2."... it’s the capital of Heilongjiang Province."一句最好说"... it’s the capital of Heilongjiang Province, China.",因为这篇文章是针对外国人写的。
3. 第二段对人们活动的描写显得不够具体,可以分别写大人和孩子的活动,这样可以使同龄人产生共鸣。
成稿:
Hello, everyone. I am Wang Lin and I come from Harbin, the capital of Heilongjiang Province, China. The summer here is short and the weather is hot, but the winter is very long and cold. It usually lasts from November to February. The streets, houses and rivers are all covered with ice and snow. That’s why Harbin is called "the city of ice".
People in Harbin love ice and snow. Their favorite sports are skating and skiing. Many children like to make snowmen. And some brave people like to go swimming at this time.
Powerful sentences: 1. The streets, houses and rivers are all covered with ice and snow.街道、房屋和河流都被冰雪所覆盖。
be covered with意思是"被……所覆盖"。如:The South Pole is covered with solid thick ice and deep snow. 南极被坚厚的冰层和深厚的雪所覆盖。
2. In Hawaii, there is a difference of only two or three degrees between the hottest day of summer and the coldest day of winter.在夏威夷,夏天最热和冬天最冷的那天温差只有二至三度。
介词between指"在(两者)之间","在(三者或三者以上)之间"用among。试比较:The boy sat between his father and mother.那个男孩坐在他父亲和母亲之间。Mr. Green is sitting among the children.格林先生坐在孩子们中间。
3. Some students find it hard to put their hearts into their studies in spring. 有些学生觉得春天难以集中精力学习。
①"find it adj. to do sth."是一个很重要的结构,其中的it是形式宾语,真正的宾语是后面的动词不定式短语,意思是"发现或觉得做……是……的"。如:Do you find it interesting to learn English?你觉得学英语有趣吗？
②put one’s heart into意为"全神贯注于……"。如:Nothing is too difficult if you put your heart into it.世上无难事,只怕有心人。
巩固练习:
假如你(Wang Xin)生活在海南省三亚市,你也参加了Wang Lin参加的国际英语冬令营。请根据所给提示及你所把握的情况适当发挥想象,写一篇80-100词的短文。
提示:
1. Winter: warm
2. Summer: hot
3. Activities: going to the beach; swiming ...
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本期作文范例
Hello, everyone.
I am Wang Xin from Sanya of Hainan Province, China. Sanya is a seashore city. In summer, the temperature is high and in winter, it’s very warm. It’s like summer there all year round. There are lots of beautiful flowers and trees, so it’s often called "the Oriental Hawaii".It’s a wonderful place to go sight-seeing. A lot of tourists come here on vacation every year. They like going to the beach best and many people swim or take photos or play games like beach volleyball. They all enjoy the sunshine.
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